I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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