I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
