just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
