It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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