You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
do herpes really smell.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize