angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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