I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
