bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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