We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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