She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
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Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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