i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize