guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
