i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Where did you get a picture of my penis
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
