HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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