I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
