Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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