the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I am spending my child support on dildos
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I could fuck to npr.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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