3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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