i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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