he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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