I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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