Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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