if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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