ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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