dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize