I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
