Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
