I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
as a side note pls kill me
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
