We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
