he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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