So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
