Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
