They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Randomize
