we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
