oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
