Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
