Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Did I show you my penis last night?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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