I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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