A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I'm drive I can fine osifer
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
