Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
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I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
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He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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