Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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