The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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