You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
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