birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
