I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
