3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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