sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
