I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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