ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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