I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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