Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
