Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
