Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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