Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
