3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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