so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
